The reality is that I'm leaving some amazing people. People who make me smile with the simple presence of suspenders. A lost goatee makes me upset and a simple cigarette in a familiar hand makes me smile and ignore the taste of tobacco it puts in my eyes and ears and mouth. I'm leaning on old friends. People who I worked with and for and I'm not losing touch, and it's comforting. I smile at people under the stars and sky of Lincoln, Neb., and for now I know that I'm not walking out of lives, just away, for a little while. We all have to, I think. Well, OK. Some of us anyhow. But it doesn't feel bad or guilty or lost. I put phone numbers into my cell phone and I take pictures of people smiling and talk about the times that we _______. You know those times. It's hard. I'm learning. It's hard.
But it makes it easier to keep friendships alive, I think. And I've decided there's people I need to say certain things to. Things like "I'm sorry it took me so long to realize that you mean something eternal to me. Thanks."
May 21, 2006
When we're sitting under the Stars
12:13 AM
Chaviva Gordon-Bennett
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