Sep 22, 2008

They say G-d speaks to us in our dreams.

I've blogged more in the past 24 hours than I have in about a week. What gives? I have a lot to say? Maybe. But this post is mostly for the sake of bookkeeping, but please feel free to respond.

You see, I had a big Chabad-inspired dream last night. My dreams, as some of you know, are incredibly vivid in their detail, so I usually wake up remembering just about everything -- from the clothes people where to the most fine detail like someone's earrings or the words someone says. It went something like this.

There was an entire (less vivid) portion leading up to the main dream that involved teaching my little brother Joseph Hebrew but him resisting and getting the numbering all wrong, but then it broke and I walked into this gigantic social hall type thing, like where State Fairs sometimes have exhibits or expos or where conventions meet with lots of booths. There was a big stage and right as I walked in, they were getting ready to start a show, and the stage was full of Hasidim of all ages. The show began and they were all dancing wildly all over the stage to music, but I couldn't hear the music. The crowd and the people on the stage were all male and in the traditional black/white garb. The dancing then stopped and everyone piled off stage and one of them was a girl! I was so excited and I started following her and she was explaining she had to pull a lot of strings to be able to dance with the other Hasidim and she was wearing really bright colors, too. She led me through a series of booths that were set up with tables and seder plates and it finally hit me that it was Pesach and it was the first night seder. But we wound through all these tables to this back section where there were hundreds of women hanging out with kids, all the women dressed traditionally and the kids running amok. There was also a little sale thing going on and the girl, as she was telling me about Chabad and her family and Pesach, was shopping and picked up a pair of silver, star earrings and her mom started yelling at her, so she went over to her mom to their table. All the tables that were set up had dozens of different types of haggadot and the tables were all varied in their settings. There was an announcement by a really tall Chabad rabbi that the seder was about to start, so everyone piled into all the seats and since I didn't know anyone, I just stood there and after the rabbi was done speaking I went over and explained my situation and he responded "I don't know what to tell you. Wander around till you find an empty chair." So I did, and I walked through all these weird booths of things, people advertising their shuls and this one Reform Jewish guy yelling really loudly to try and talk over the rabbi. But I ended up at a table with a bunch of people dressed in early 1990s business power suits and they explained they didn't have any food, so we were going to eat leftover pizza for the seder and I felt utterly deflated and disappointed. And then? I woke up.

And that, folks, is how you dream. I just wonder what it means.

4 comments:

Mottel said...

Perhaps to be careful what you eat at night before you go to bed? ;-)
In truth, none of my dreams are ever so vivid, so enjoy them!

Anonymous said...

I am by no means a psychologist but it sounds like your dream has to do with your deep desire to be part of the orthodox family, your fear of not fitting in, and perhaps rejection. Maybe your hashkafa doesnt fit, maybe your ideological ideas dont fit, or some other form of you doesnt fit. Basically, the prevailing idea that you can't be who you are and still be accepted. Even more so the fear that after you finished walking the rainbow and find that orthodox treasure, it wont be all that it is cracked up to be, wont be the holy Jerusalem you thought it was. I could be wrong but it seems like you are worried about these things.

Anonymous said...

I think you put on a beard, don some payos, get a black hat and suit, and a tallis katan and join the dancing yourself! Yeidl deidl deidel! LOLZ.

Chaviva Gordon-Bennett said...

All very interesting takes.

@Psych Perhaps, perhaps. I can see how that'd be a possible interpretation, indeed.

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