Feb 1, 2010

WANTED: Rabbi to Make Golem!

I have to hat tip my dear friend Rabbi V (that's a nickname he doesn't like, but I'm okay with that) for posting this up to Facebook. I can't help but giggle uncontrollably about this ad on Craigslist that popped up two days ago.

Looking for Rabbi Versed in DARK TALMUDIC ARTS to create GOLEM. (Astoria, NY)
One Rabbi versed in the Dark Talmudic Arts to create one Golem for household of three. Golem will perform rudimentary household chores such as dishes & sweeping, basic Math Tutoring for our daughter in 3rd grade and basic household security. Golem must be obedient and fairly unobtrusive on our every-day lives.
We will supply all materials needed (clay, twigs, calfskin parchment, etc) needed to create the Golem. All you need to do is use your magical ancient Rabbinic skills to animate said Golem!
Please note! We are looking for a Rabbi to create a Golem: an anthropomorphic being created from intimate matter from Jewish folk-lore, NOT Gollum: a former Hobbit turned into monster and looking for "precious". This is important! We have no interest in living with Gollum. We want a Golem. Please respond, serious inquiry only.
Location: Astoria, NY
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Compensation: no pay
No pay?! What a bum deal. I do like how they iterated the difference between Gollum and Golem. How astute of them!


TMC said...

Is a Golem like Dobbie from Harry Potter?

gamzoo said...

"Please respond, serious inquiry only." Hilarious

Slave to my Bulldog said...

"No pay?" Well, that's a show stopper if I ever heard one. No self-respecting Rabbi should be expected to unleash this magical medieval being without compensation.

LaurAyn said...

Astoria eh...well I can recommend a good nail lady if they'd like. LOL

shavuatov said...

Oh my! And I too liked the clarification... :)


WonderGirl said...

Writing "intimate" instead of "inanimate" (I assume that's what they meant) is bad enough, even if it is Craigslist, but adding "no pay"? No "serious inquiry" for you!

Now, if only we all lived in Discworld, we could just rent golems. . . .

Shades of Grey said...

This is hilarious!

Love, a proud Jew said...

I want one too!

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