Apr 21, 2011

Dreaming in a Daze

I've written about my wacky dreams before, in all of their vivid and memorable and horrifying glory. My favorite dreams have been those like the one where I was studying with a Hasidic master (that was years ago), and I wish I had more like those. But last night?

The first dream was me (looking like Rihanna of all people), and I was in charge of subbing in a class for a math teacher. The class was learning about basic algebra, and I was trying to get technology involved and the class was very dysfunctional. But the problem? The teacher was actually there in the class the whole time, correcting every little thing I was doing and saying. I couldn't control the class, let alone the lesson. And then, the dream flipped.

I was standing on a street in the Old City or something that looked like it, wearing IDF garb. We were investigating a rumor that a woman on the street was planning to blow herself up on that street. We were questioning several people out on the street (Arabs) and they said they knew nothing, but then this woman walked out, dressed in 1940's style garb, dressed to the nines, and she walked by and just winked at me. I instantly knew that this was the woman who was going to blow herself up. I grabbed the device out of her hand that she would have pushed to detonate and started to move down the street while she just stared at me. She moved near a large group of people (all Arabs, which makes no sense) and she pushed her stomach, like that was where the bomb was, and at the same moment, I pushed the button on the device -- and nothing happened. She started to run and I got her and arrested her. Almost instantly, she turned from being an Arab woman into being a bleach-blond with bright blue eyes and milky skin. I was parading her through town, shouting "She's a Nazi!" I took her through this large hall -- it was almost like a bath house -- full of Jews and everyone was saying "Wow, she's beautiful" and I would spit back, "She's a Nazi!" and everyone responded with disgust. We left the large hall and were heading into the police station and she wrangled herself loose from my grip. I knew I couldn't chase her, so I started to load my gun as she knocked over an IDF soldier and took his garb, got dressed, and ran into one of the IDF gates across the street. I started shooting at her, while yelling that she was a Nazi. I shot her twice, and the rest of the soldiers dragged her into this big room where she ended up being killed. I got really, really upset, curled into a ball, and started weeping about how she should have been put through a trial, prosecuted, and sentenced.

Weird. Okay dream readers -- what's it mean?


Elle said...

I sounds to me like one of those dreams of working through things. You are learning a lot about Jewish history, no? and as a (newish) Jew it is all washing over you more and more as you learn about your husband's family. You also relate in some way, to non-Jews, so you feel the need to treat them fair as well (the trial etc) because you know many are victims of a regime they don't even understand. You feel devotion to your fellow Jews first and foremost, but the ignorance and self inflicted pain of the non-Jews tears at your heart as well. It is uncomfortable for you to have to make such judgment calls (such as how to handle the arab/nazi) when you feel unworthy to do so. Yet, you must, so you do.

Being a Jew is hard. Being a convert is sometimes heartbreaking.

(now wanna try your hand at explaining my shabbos candles turn into flowers that turn into snakes dream?)

Batya said...

Amazing dream. Turn it into a screen play.

Pura Vida said...

So...you arrest a woman without just cause, march her around while proclaiming she's a Nazi and letting people jeer at her, shoot at her, and then she's dragged into a room and killed. Ayo, this sounds familiar. Also: consider that she was pointing to her belly because she was pregnant with...gasp...an Arab child. Was that the bomb?

I hope better dreams are to come.

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