A Wedding and a Stylish Hasidic Woman (Er ... Me)

Saturday night, the moment Shabbat ended, Tuvia and I got all gussied up and schlepped off super fast to Deal, NJ, for the wedding of one of Tuvia's oldest friends, Elan, to his lovely kallah, Elana. Yes, I know what you're thinking: Elan and Elana? Seriously? And yes, that's right. The joke was made all throughout the reception, and it is really bizarre and awesome.

The wedding was absolutely beautiful, from the one-of-a-kind chuppah, which I will continue to covet for the rest of my life, to Elana's amazing wedding dress and the crazy dancing by the very, very upbeat and energized crowd. Bruno Mars and Rihanna kept the guests dancing all night long, beyond even when Tuvia and I left a little after midnight.

We were incredibly happy to be able to celebrate in their simcha, especially because they came to celebrate in our simcha nearly six months ago. Tuvia rolls with a specific crowd of friends that he's known forever, and it consists of four very close friends: Tuvia, Elan, Yoni and Yoel. Yoel, currently in Moldova with Peace Corps, even sent in a hilarious video. I recorded the reactions of Tuvia, Elan, Yoni and Elana for Yoel, and I hope he enjoys the playback of exactly how people felt about his words and well-wishes.

I would be remiss, of course, to not mention my fashion choice for the wedding, which came with great thought. One of Tuvia's high school friends mentioned later that when she initially walked by me, she thought, "What a stylishly dressed Hasidic woman!" This made me giggle, immensely. When pondering whether to sport my shietel fall, Tuvia assured me that I would stand out like a sore thumb. "You'll be the only one there wearing a sheitel," he said. But, as I've mentioned in the past, there's something about hair that makes you feel a little more dressed up, more professional. And? There was another woman there clearly sporting a wig, which I proudly pointed out to my dear husband.

So, after a trip to Dress Barn, I put together the following outfit, which made me look like a well-dressed religious woman. Tuvia's friend remarked that I pull off being religious and fashionable pretty well. Folks, it can be done. I apologize that the picture is not great, but, well, I left my profesional camera at home, so we relied on camera phones.

Sequined Hat from Target

Black Satin Skirt purchased last fall from Dress Barn

Satin Grey Tank and Floral-embellished Jacket purchased this fall from Dress Barn

Black Clutch purchased from Target many moons ago

School Marm Grey and Black Pumps purchased from Kohl's this fall

I am so very pale, no?

The great thing about this outfit? It was super classy, super easy, super cheap, and I didn't have to accessorize at all. No earrings, no necklace, simply my Pandora charm bracelet, wedding and engagement rings. The floral embellishments on the top plus the sequined hat gave this outfit enough pop to not be overly done, but to look upscale for a black-tie wedding. 

Mazal tov to the happy couple. May you live to be a 120 and may you always be as in love as you are now!

A Meeting of the Minds!

Here's a teaser of our wedding photos, which now are up on Facebook. Unfortunately, you can only see them if you're one of my Facebook friends (sigh), so if you have problems viewing them, just let me know, and I'll hook you up!

Yes, folks, here you see the Twitter fame known as @mrs_Gruven @sebelsky @ravtex @susqhb @gruven_reuven @hsabomilner (and her KoD) @kvetchingeditor @schnit @elianahsharon @chicagoleah @alizahausman @ha_safran and @kosheracademic. I guarantee this photo will make it to the wall of my living room in 8 by 10 fashion :)

The Who's Who of the Jew Crew!

Do Carrie and the Mikvah Mix?

Ahh, a new day. I'm standing her in a darkened kitchen, eating Gluten Free Cinnamon Chex and writing this little note here. I'm marveling that I've nabbed TWO new followers over there on the Blogger follow thing, so hello to whoever you are (I hope you stick around for everything!). The boys are off to a Yankees game (that's my Tuvia, @ravtex, Tuvia's dad, and his uncle, as well). I don't know if I've emphasized just how much he needs to reapply sunscreen every five seconds.

After all, we are getting married tomorrow. Pictures, after all, are at this time tomorrow. Sof sof, I'll be able to see my chatan. Thank haShem. I'm ready for this no seeing and dancing around each other to be over. It's rough, even for someone as sort of emotionally handicapped as me.

We had a big party (kiddush that is) at shul yesterday. Tuvia davened at the big minyan downstairs, and I was upstairs at a smaller, quieter minyan (for the first time, I got to daven in peace at that shul!). We both ushered into the social hall for a beautiful, lavish kiddush that stuffed me good. There were a few almost-encounters, but our awesome friends managed to keep us apart. (Mad props to @ravtex and @susqhb, not to mention our awesome West Hartford friends who also helped out.) I was, in a word, overwhelmed by the people -- strangers and acquaintances -- wishing me a mazal tov. "Thank you for coming!" I said. Sus quickly pointed out to me that, well, it's a synagogue, on Shabbat -- they probably would have come anyway.

So today is a sort of kick-back day. Tuvia at America's Favorite Past time, while Sus and I head to see "Sex and the City 2" (totally appropriate for a kallah the day before her wedding, no?), some food, some CostCo, then my big mikvah dip at 5 p.m., followed by a rousing Pizza Party at 7 p.m. at Tuvia's dad's place. I think it's funny, actually. Tuvia's friends joked yesterday about him "becoming a man" yesterday doing all the shul hullabaloo and aliyot, and here today we're having a pizza party.

I think my little Tuvia is becoming a man. Har har. (Insert smiley face here.)

I'm really stoked though because so many family members and friends are going to be there. I'm stoked to see my West Hartford people and my online people and my new, awesome mishpacha all in one place, intermingled, all for our simcha. My new mishpacha, the loving with unconditional and open arms and emotions. And that makes me so happy.

So the cereal is gone (it was really delicious, in case you were wondering), and I need to wrangle Miss Sus from her French Toast-induced coma. Off to get our Carrie Bradshaw on. We're so glamorous.

Chaviva's E-Shower: The Opening!

Thanks to all the gals who participated. YOU ARE AWESOME! Hugs and love :)



Chaviva's e-shower! from Chaviva Edwards on Vimeo.

Goin' to the Chuppah and We're, Gonna Get Married ...

I can't believe I did it. I just purchased a wedding gown off the internet, before viewing, before trying on, before anything. Now, I know what you're thinking, Are you crazy!? And yes, I am a little off my rocker, but it's hard to be a tzniut-style girl searching for a proper wedding gown. So I went to Nordstrom's at the advice of a few Twitter friends for my measurements, sent them off to the gown's e-store, heard back from a nice lady, and ordered the gown. It should get to me in approximately two to three business days. Talk about FAST service. I'm praying like you wouldn't believe that it's the ultimate, perfect wedding gown. I just have to get over the self-esteem shocker of ordering a wedding gown two/three sizes too big. What's the deal with that anyway? I mean, if someone wears a size 10 (not me, that's for sure), why should they have to buy a size 14 wedding gown? Don't you think brides have enough issues about size and shape on their mind that forcing them into a super-sized wedding gown will only make matters worse? Egads.

Anywho, at the advice of a friend from shul (and subsequently a few other friends from shul), I nabbed a copy of a classic Judaica book that, I was told, will enlighten not only me, but any family members with lingering questions or queries, about what to expect with an Orthodox wedding. The book? "Made in Heaven" by the illustrious Aryeh Kaplan. If you start out with the "dedications" page, you'll rest assured that this guy's advice is second to none -- the book is dedicated to the author's nine children! Obviously, Rabbi Kaplan knows his stuff, right?

I'm not one for touchy-feely books, and aside from tidbits here and there about the eternal bond of marriage and the future generations, the book is very readable, and I highly recommend it to those who are prepping for marriage. Each chapter homes in on a specific topic: the ring, the chuppah, the wedding day, the ketubah, the processional, and more. It even gets as specific as talking about the tallit and the various specific blessings. The chapters are short, and the author was very, very good about being concise and quick in his lessons on the halakot.

I can't even begin to tell you how many questions I've developed for my rabbi. Feel free to chime in here, but I've heard some "that sounds crazy!" comments from friends. I'll let you know what my rav thinks. I'll admit, many of these are CUSTOMS, but still, I like to know/make sure I'm doing things "right."

• Some sources say that, for the wedding band, gold is preferable to silver, others silver to gold. Add to this the fact that you are supposed to use a ring that is pure -- not masked, such as plated gold -- because this could invalidate the ceremony entirely! Does this mean I can't have a white gold ring? The point of the ring being simple (no designs, no stones) is that the bride (and others) should be able to ascertain the value of the ring at a simple glance. If it's plated or masked in some way, it's harder to discern. As such, white gold has a specific value, right? So white gold *should* be okay? 
• The tradition is that the kallah (bride) gives her chatan (groom) his tallit (prayer shawl) for the wedding. Often it's used for the chuppah, too. Now, Tuvia has a tallit his paternal grandfather bought shortly before his death, so he wants to use that since it's unused and in great condition. What do I do for the chatan then!?
• What's doing with this whole no seeing each other for a week before the wedding? According to the book, many hold the tradition of just the day before hand, but even then, it used to be a tradition to hold a prenuptial meal the night before the wedding! What did you do at your wedding? What's the tradition/community custom/standard these days?
• There is a definite decision that men fast the day of their wedding, but some rabbis hold that the kallah does not fast! What gives!? Do I fast, or do I not fast?

And those are my questions and I'm not even halfway through the book! Luckily, Rabbi Kaplan's given me plenty of insight and things to think about. 

I've also discovered -- via the advice of the same friend that suggested I pick up this book -- a way to involve people in the entire service without violating halakot! The great thing about a Jewish wedding is that there are about a million different positions people can serve. There are six witnesses -- all must be shomer mitzvot, Jewish males -- as well as those who read the sheva brachot (seven blessings), and thanks to this friend's great thinking, the translations of these brachot also will be read, that is, by women and non-Jewish friends of mine. It's a beautiful way not only to involve everyone, but also to help those who aren't familiar with Hebrew or the Jewish traditions to really get the full impact of the blessings in order to understand the service. 

You'd be amazed at all of the obstacles and pits of fire and dragons that await one with planning a wedding like this. I'm sure they exist in all faiths, but with there being specific binding laws regarding various parts of the service, you really have to think hard about who to involve and how to involve them. It's a delicate, delicate process.

All I can say is, I'm getting married in less than four months, and I'm jazzed!

Tee hee hee ...

This just makes me laugh. It reminds me of those images in Jewish newspapers and magazines where the kippah is so incredibly obviously photoshopped on. It just makes me giggle ... giggle ... giggle.