Do Vegetables Need a Hechsher?

This ... is ... hilarious! Oh how I love Mayim!

Food Goes MoShY!

Growing up, there were always staples in the family fridge, and they're all foods that I associate with my father. Pears, apples, shelled hardboiled eggs, tomatoes (which I now know aren't supposed to go in the fridge, but that my father would slice up and eat with a dash of salt). In the cabinets you could always find canned tuna, Hamburger Helper, pasta, pasta sauce, velveeta, and every other Middle America staple there is. Without fail, certain things were always there. We were a meatloaf-eating, pork cutlet-cooking, steak-burning family. As an adult with what my friend Dan says is a really unbelievably healthy kitchen, I have acquired the same kitchen staples mentality except in my kitchen, a kosher vegetarian kitchen, it's all about the vegetables and fruits.

Wild Rice, Basmati Rice, Brown Rice, a variety of lentils, polenta, agave, natural unsalted peanut butter and cashew butter, tons of spices (especially those of the Indian variety), canned pumpkin and sweet potatoes, pistachios and other nuts, every type of gluten-free four you can imagine (rice, almond, the blend). In my fridge you'll find -- without fail -- kale and other leafy greens, chia seed, flax seed, and on my counter there are always pears, butternut and acorn squash, tomatoes, lemons and limes.

I'm sort of a health nut these days I guess. A vegetarian nutjob.

Although, I take that back. Over Shabbat dinner this past week, I discovered there's actually a name for what I am -- MoShY. (Mad props to @melschol and hubsters.) For those of you (like me formerly) who aren't in the know, that's "Meat on Shabbos and Yom Tov."

Yes, it happens. Despite my kitchen being all veggie (and practically vegan since I live on Daiya vegan cheese these days), I do eat meat when I'm invited out for Shabbat, mostly because I feel bad laying all of my weird food things on people.

Gluten free

No white potatoes

Please no white rice

No meat

It seems like a huge pain, right? When people invite  you over, you can't expect them to bend to your every allergy, and so far I've only experienced one Shabbat where I was pretty much unable to eat anything that was served except the salad. But I've experienced too many accidental gluten consumption incidents to be as gentle about my restrictions as I used to. Lucky for me, I really don't get invited out much and the friends who do consistently have me over are willing to deal with my crazy. But, like I said, I eat meat when I'm with them.

Why the emphasis on me eating me out of simplicity and not religious necessity? Well, there are those that hold that it's significant if not mandatory to consume meat on Shabbat. Why? A Chabad.org Q&A article points to the notion that we're supposed to call the Sabbath a "day of delight" from Isaiah. For the rabbis of the Talmud, the article says, this meant food and drink, because in the days of yore, food and drink -- especially wine and meat -- were things that were special, expensive, a treat. However, the Shulchan Aruch HaRav ultimately says,

There is no obligation to eat meat or drink wine on Shabbat. Rather, since it is assumed that most people take more pleasure in eating meat than in other foods, and in drinking wine more than other drinks, therefore they should increase in [consuming] meat and wine according to their means.

For someone like me, who doesn't garner great joy in consuming meat, I suppose this means that for me, to delight in food and drink on Shabbat would consiste of some delicious Ethiopian Lentils and a big cup of coffee! But then there's this article over on Chabad about Judaism and vegetarianism that, after explaining various takes on meat-eating in Jewish literature, says, "According to this approach, it may be cruel to not eat meat, because doing so robs the animal of its chance to serve a higher purpose." I don't buy that explanation, but feel free to read the entire article and let me know what you think. If everything has the ability to be uplifted to serve a higher purpose, then isn't a cow doing more by consuming lots of vegetation over a lifetime than by being killed and consumed in one quick meal?

So, at any rate, I'm MoShY! For now, anyway. It just makes life easier. Are you a member of the MoShY tribe? What do you think about Jews, meat, and vegetarianism? 

The Big Reveal

Note: If you want to respond to the content of this post, please post in the comments. Any emails sent to me privately on this topic will be posted in the comments section, with or without the author's permission. I'm trying to keep people's comments/feelings on this public so I don't drown in negativity and criticism that surely will arise, as this is a tenuous and potentially life-altering post. 


Well, my banner gives a hint: I'm rebranding -- both the blog and myself. A lot of people (looking at you @Mottel) believe that people aren't brands, but other people (looking @jeffpulver here) believe that people are and can become brands. Whether I intended it or not, I am my brand and my brand is me. I'm Chaviva, the Kvetching Editor, and this blog is the face of that brand. Do I include every minute detail of my life here? No, gosh no. If I did, y'all would be overloaded and I'd end up looking like some narcissistic lunatic. That being said, I've always prided myself on honesty, forthrightness, and truth.

I was speaking with my therapist today, after several weeks of throwing things around in my head whether this post was going to happen. With that note up top there and with what I'm going to say, this post will serve as therapy for me, and I hope it will take the weight that I'm "hiding" something off my shoulders. I'm a firm believer that if you don't inform on your brand, someone else will, and that's how gossip and lashon hara begins.

I am a Jew. I don't fit in a box, and although I tried very hard after my Orthodox conversion to throw myself into the tidy box of Orthodoxy -- Get Married, Move to a Big Orthodox Community, Have Only Orthodox Friends, Dress the Part, Wear the Headcovering, Go to the Mikvah, Live and Breathe the Box of Orthodoxy -- it didn't work. My marriage failed, my life shook, and I uprooted myself to Denver where I now feel more like myself than I have in a good three years.

Slam Poetry. Music. Film. Writing. Smiling. Laughing. Feeling at peace in my own skin -- except, of course, when others send me emails or texts or chats telling me how I'm letting down the people who look to me the most as a beacon of conversion to Orthodox Judaism. I'm made to feel guilty for feeling happy.

And why am I happy? Why am I really happy? Because unexpectedly, in early November, while sitting at the local Starbucks (a shonda!) doing work, a fellow walked up to me and asked to sit down. While he stepped away, I fled. I was just divorced, I was pretty sure he wasn't Jewish, and I think he was hitting on me. Then, time and again I went into that Starbucks and we struck up a friendship. That friendship over movies and ridiculous YouTube videos and existentialism and family/emotional drama and our love of rodents and books and music and everything else led to now: I'm dating this fellow. His name is Taylor, and Taylor is not Jewish. Taylor's what he likes to call an agnostic-atheist, meaning that he respects everything that I believe but that he doesn't buy into any of it. Has it resulted in any contention? Not really, no. He leaves me to my Shabbat observance, recognizes my kosher-keeping, and the fact that we're both vegetarian (okay, so I eat meat when I go to @melschol's house) makes cooking for each other at my place a breeze. Right now, he's perfection for me. He makes me laugh, he makes me smile, he makes me feel okay being me.

Yes, I've taken to eating out at the two popular local vegetarian/vegan restaurants -- City O City and Watercourse. I can get my weird vegan kosher Daiya cheese, plenty of vegetables, and a bounty of gluten-free options in a city where the only kosher "restaurant" holds a monopoly on the kosher business and serves subpar food (want to open a kosher restaurant? sorry! it can't be anywhere near the one that exists -- va'ad rules). But guess who thinks it'd be cool to open a kosher vegetarian restaurant? Taylor. Go figure, eh?

What else should I put out there?

I've reconsidered having children, I've reconsidered marriage. The children thing has a lot to do with family things that are too private for me to detail here, and the marriage thing has a lot to do with, well, being married and it going so horribly.

Yes, I know what you're all thinking/saying: Chavi, you just went through a tumultuous time, this is to be expected, don't count anything out! Or perhaps, Chavi! Just go to Israel and study in seminary and figure out your Jewish self there! Oh I know, some of you are even thinking Chavi, you're rebounding! It'll all get better once you meet a nice Jewish boy.

And perhaps all of those point are valid, but I've heard them from every angle. Rationalize things all you want, but this is who I am right now and this is how I'm happy right now. The truth is, I don't think I ever fit into the clean Orthodox box I thought I did. I wanted to, I tried so hard, but the Orthodox I fell in love with and the Orthodoxy I practiced were two different things. It doesn't make my past posts any less valid or significant, and I hope people still read and learn from them. I'm a Jew. An underconstructionist, rebranding Jew.

I'm still kosher, I'm still shomer shabbos. I still believe firmly in everything that makes Judaism work and functional. Torah m'Sinai. The important thing is that I'm not letting myself stop. Some of you may think I'm regressing, pouring into the plight of intermarriage and diluting the Jewish pool. And you'll think what you will, and I'm okay with that. I've come to peace with it.

This is my derech. My derech to which HaShem is privy. In the end, yes -- I'm a public figure, people associate and look up to me, I impact lives -- but at the same time I'm a person who is just as confused and searching as everyone else. The difference is that I've forced myself into the public eye and have to continue to stay true to myself and my readers.

As always, this is just the beginning. I'm going to let my haters be my motivators this time.

Gam Zu L'Tovah: I No Longer Am Consistent

I thought about making a podcast. I thought about writing a cryptic slam poem. I thought about just saying that this blog has taken too much out of me and I've passed up on many a chance to focus on me, to be and live for me. But this blog has been my baby, my internal dialogue, my therapy. You guys are the flies on the wall of my mental canvas. You get to see the inner workings of a stranger. The world gets to see the inner workings of a stranger. So what would be stranger than me simply disappearing from the blog, citing stress, questioning everything I know about myself, family drama that cannot even be described, and new people in my life?

The weirdest thing about being divorced is feeling like I was never married. Is that normal? Is it normal to look back and think, where did the past three years go? Who was I? Was that even me? Don't misunderstand: I got married because everything seemed to fall into place. I sought the physical and emotional comforts that marriage and relationships provide. But looking back and reflecting on it all, I did myself a great disservice denying my own feelings about the whole thing. To put it more simply: I have no clue who that woman was over the past three years.

There are clear moments: Graduate school, my Orthodox conversion, Israel. But all of the things that should matter, that should stick with me are as if a fog. Like watching a tragic movie with a tragic woman who wants nothing more than to be that image of the Orthodox woman living the Orthodox life with her Orthodox husband in an Orthodox world. And I got that. I dressed the part, I spoke the part, I ate the part, I lived the part. I was that person that people strive to be, and for those who read this blog and look for guidance on conversion to Orthodoxy, I was that example to follow.

And all of the important stuff was honest. It's the superficial stuff that I'm starting to wonder whether it was real. I believe everything -- I believe and have a firm conviction in all that Orthodox Judaism provides and demands, but I've hit this point where, because I'm unraveling who I was for three years, I don't know that I am capable of following through as that person. Not right now.

Man. I sound like I'm being cryptic. Like what I should say, what I want to say is so obvious. But, you see, I've placed myself under the microscope of so many people, at least 55,000 a month. And as you start to question yourself and where you're going, it's like the sun is shining so bright you're on the verge of combustion. In the Jewish community, for me at least, the fear of retribution, exclusion, denial are beyond words. The fear that, if I decide that eating out at a vegetarian restaurant is something in which I want to dabble that I will be rejected wholly by those around me. That if I decide that I'm interested in someone who isn't Jewish that my readers and friends will look at me with judgment and horror.

Oh how the mighty might fall.

In one of the segments of Ask Chaviva Anything! someone asked whether I put too much emphasis on being a convert, and I said that it's impossible, because being a ger is the very fabric of who I am. It defines my social life, my diet, my clothing, my approach to everything in life. A Jew can go "off the derech," and we scoff and laugh and pray that they come back into the fold, no matter how nominally affiliated he or she is. But no matter how not Jewish he or she chooses to date, he or she will always be Jewish. An ancestor's ketubah or picture of a grandparent's grave, and matters are solidified. A convert? Well, I have a folder that holds both my Reform and my Orthodox conversion certificates. Pieces of paper signed by modern rabbis in a modern rabbinical court in an environment installed with processes and circumstance. But those papers can disappear, they can be questioned, they can be enough to cast away someone indefinitely.

I sound dramatic, I know. But this is a glimpse into my head, my life, my world right now. People tell me that HaShem never gives us something that we can not handle, and others say gam zu l'tovah (this, too, is for good). And that makes me wonder why I currently find myself in the circumstances that I do. The more difficult thing, however, is that I feel good. I feel right. I feel happy. For the first time in a long time, I feel like me.

People are fluid. Our experiences are fluid. From one moment to the next, we cannot expect consistency from either ourselves or others. We're impacted by our environments, our emotions, our genetics, resulting in an ever-changing sense of self that should never stand still. Drastic changes, we assume, must be attributed to some life-altering event or emotion. However, in truth, it seems to make sense that we would be constantly in flux, changing, inconsistent. After all, that's why Judaism has so many installed proscriptions of how to live -- consistency. Everyone works better on a schedule. Or do we? I guess what I'm saying is that we expect too much from ourselves, from others, in the way of consistency. We expect people to have patterns, and when the pattern is thrown, we assume the worst.

Don't assume the worst, please.

Also: As an aside, if you didn't see Mitch Albom's "Have a Little Faith" on TV the other night, then you need to find it and you need to watch it. It had me in tears at the end, and I don't cry easily. The only movie I ever cried during was "My Best Friend's Wedding." But in the movie, the rabbi (played by Martin Landau) poses the following (and I'm paraphrasing) Why didn't G-d create one perfect tree? Why did he create multiple trees, spruces, pines, oaks? It's the same with man and our beliefs. There are many ways to G-d, not just one. (And this, folks, is my comfort.)

Kosher Flops and Flips

I've been having a lot of really interesting conversations with people lately about kashrut, which makes me think back to some of my less-than-stellar days of refining the art of keeping kosher. It's a journey for all of us, and sometimes it takes years to really take on a full regimen of kashrut. Some cases in point?

Flop No. 1? 
During the first week of classes at the University of Connecticut (where I was to get my first M.A. in Judaic studies), there was a big welcome cook-out over at Hillel, so I decided to go outside my typical box of comfortability in order to schmooze with the campus Jews. At that point, it was August 2008 and I had been an "official" Reform Jew for about a year and a half. I'd slowly been taking on more kashrut, especially after Passover 2008 when I decided that I was set for an Orthodox conversion. I didn't kasher anything, but I kept on my tradition of no pork and no shellfish (which I'd taken on even before I went to a Reform shul for the first time many, many years before) and decided I was going to avoid mixing meat and milk.

While waiting in line at the cook-out to grab my own kosher burger, salads, and chips, I spotted little packets of ketchup, mustard, and ... GASP ... mayo! I started to get really nervous, looking around to see if anyone else was reacting to the mayo on the table. I mean, they said this was kosher meat and that all the fixins were kosher too, didn't they? Okay, okay, so I wasn't fully kosher, but I wasn't about to mix meat and dairy! Come on people!

Yes. I thought, stupidly, for no apparent reason, that mayo was dairy. Yipes. The thing is, I never really ate mayo, so my ignorance should have been expected. Luckily, I didn't make an arse of myself by saying anything to anyone and instead Googled it the moment I got home. Can you imagine how stupid I felt?

Flop No. 2? 
Living in the dorms, I canceled my meal plan after one semester because I simply didn't like going to the cafeteria and the kosher cafeteria (the reason I bought the plan to begin with) was on the other side of campus and I just wasn't into the schlep (my dorm was right next to the building in which I worked, the classes in which I took, and the library in which I lived). Thus, I had to rely on the groceries I picked up every week when Tuvia (who I started dating at the start of my time at UConn) came out and picked me up and drove me over to the Wal-Mart. I got into a habit of eating vegetarian in my dorm almost exclusively, but at some point I was craving meat so I ended up eating a lot of breaded chicken patties, and I made sure -- really made sure -- to never mix meat and dairy, despite my own frustations with chicken as "meat." (I think I thought I was a Karaite.)

And then? Well, I made dinner as usual. Threw a chicken patty in the microwave, popped a piece of cheese on it, threw on some pasta sauce and voila! made my favorite dish of yore, Chicken Parm. I gobbled it up while watching something on my computer and then, suddenly, I realized what I was eating. Holy crap. What do I do? Do I make myself throw up? I didn't do it on purpose I started shouting in my head! It was an accident! What do I do!?

Well, of course, I went to AskMoses.com. And the kind random person behind the computer told me that there was nothing I could do to make it better or to go away. Of course, the person behind the computer didn't know that I had only had a Reform conversion so technically, according to halacha, I'd done nothing wrong -- I was a non-Jew eating milk and meat together. No biggie, right? But the person talking to me at AskMoses.com talked me down, explained to me that it wasn't something I'd intentionally done, so while it was wrong, there was no way to repent, if you will. I felt better, I'll say that much, but man was that a serious flop.

(Note: I haven't found a good replacement for Chicken Parm, unfortunately with the gluten-free thing. Eggplant Parm just isn't the same. Oh Morningstar why must you have wheat?!)

Flippity Flop!
The thing about kashrut is that it's a journey, and it's one that isn't at all easy or always fun to travel on. I stopped eating pork and shellfish probably sometime back in 2003, long before I even knew there was a Reform shul in town. But I started there because I knew there was something I could start with that was easy to do and it would connect me to generations of religious and assimilated Jews.

But after that, it took me until 2008 to really even consider the idea of separation of meat and milk completely, and even after I started, Tuvia and I still ate out dairy. But after I went to and returned from Middlebury, Vermont, in Summer 2009, I couldn't do the eating-out-dairy thing anymore -- I felt like I was cheating, being hypocritical. Not everyone feels that way, and I don't expect anyone to feel that way, but we did. And then? We went on that big journey of kashrut together. And now look at us -- we're all super frum with the kashrut.

And it's still hard. I don't know if it ever gets easy. Every now and again I have cravings, strange cravings, for things like Chick-Fil-A and Chipotle and other places that, to be completely honest, I wouldn't be able to eat at anyway because I'm now gluten-free. Saving grace? Maybe HaShem is trying to give me an easy time? Probably not. Cravings are cravings -- they don't go away. But the nice thing is that with modern cooking, you can pretty much figure out a way to satisfy any craving with creative cooking. Likewise, leaving in Teaneck has us pretty spoiled foodwise.

Don't worry about making mistakes. I grab the wrong utensil more often than I should, and we end up doing a lot of kashering (sorry Tuvia!). One of the wisest things I ever read (or was it heard?) was that as long as you acknowledge that there's a goal (in this case being shomer kashrut), then your mistakes and stumbles will not stand in judgment of you. Or something like that. Basically? As long as you say "I will, someday, be a kosher Jew," then your steps and missteps to get there will be accepted as growing pains rather than your downfall. Stick to your guns, and you can make it happen!

No More Starbucks, It Seems.

Hi, my name is Chaviva, and I am freaking ... out. Freaking. Seriously. Y'all know I live for coffee, right? That my "office" is Starbucks, right?

Well, evidently Starbucks is not recommended anymore ... in most cases. Why? Things get washed together, that's why. Sigh. Just ... just read what the cRc says in their obnoxious chart.

EDIT: Food for thought on a few sites -- looks like this is an OU vs. cRc battle. Some links:

• http://www.collive.com/show_news.rtx?id=13205&hl=starbucks
• http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/crc-starbucks-kashrus-alert

Looks like it's not so clear. I'll keep going ... until someone gives me a reason not to, it seems. 


EDIT TWO (03/08/2011): From my rabbi I received this, which makes me happy. I hold by the OU, so I feel RELIEF!


The kosher status of beverages at Starbucks is a constant topic of inquiry. The following list of approved beverages, compiled by the Orthodox Union (OU), provides the guidance that can avoid the confusion and answer most questions. 

COFFEE and TEA 

All Plain Brewed Coffees 

Café Latte 

Café Misto 

Cappuccino 

Clover Brewed Coffee 

Decaf Pike Peak Roast 

Espresso 

FLAVORED LATTE (hot or iced) 

Blackberry

Irish Cream 

Brulee 

Caramel - regular and sugar free (not the topping) 

Cinnamon Dolce- regular and sugar free (not the topping) 

Cinnamon Syrup 

Classic/Simple Coconut 

Dark Cherry 

Gingerbread 

Hazel nut – regular and sugar free 

Natural Almond Peppermint - regular and sugar free 

Raspberry - regular and sugar free 

Toffee Nut 

Valencia Vanilla - regular and sugar free 

Whipped cream at every store needs to be checked by the consumer.

(H/T to Shades of Grey)

Cheese Basket Winner!

I am ever-so-happy to announce the winner of what has been called the Best Giveaway Ever, a basket of delicious kosher cheese from Anderson International Foods. The winner's recipe will appear on March 10 on the Sincerely Brigitte blog, too!

So, without further ado ... the winner of this amazing giveaway is ...

DREW!

And the great thing about Drew's recipe? It's straight up Passover! Yes, it's a Passover Frittata. Thank you to everyone for entering -- I wish you ALL could have one. Stay tuned for the next giveaway, which will be an Oh!Nuts gift certificate, just in time for Purim!

Enjoy the cheese, Drew. Can't wait to see the recipes with which you'll come up!

A Gluten-Free Challah Worth Screaming About

I know, I know ... this blog is about all things Jewish. All things gluten-free belongs over at www.kosher-critic.com, but that is just how excited I am about this. Watch the video, love it.

PS: Tuvia and I agree ... if you threw some salt on these, it would be akin to eating soft pretzels. I don't know why, but this recipe screams "pretzel challah," and that is a-okay with me.




Best Gluten-Free Challah ... Ever from Chaviva Galatz on Vimeo.

Prepare to Microwave Your Chicken

The greatest thing I miss about not being kosher is the convenience of many heat-and-eat products (after all, I once upon a time wrote food treyf-style reviews for HeatEatReview.com). I also was able to lose a hefty amount of weight by subsisting on Lean Cuisines, which are, from my memory, absolutely delicious. Unfortunately, being kosher means very few healthy, heat-and-eat options. Among the available options is probably the only healthy one, which is Garden Lites, but it's all veggies, all the time. You have to be a real lover of things like zucchini to take those on. But there's nothing like those giant family-size frozen options that I've found that are both gluten-free and won't clog my arteries on first-bite.


What if, say, you want a full-size chicken. And you want it in 20 minutes. You want it delicious. You want it moist. And? You want to make it in your microwave.

Tuvia got really excited. And he wanted to do the "Susanne Face."

I know, it's crazy. I thought it was crazy. When a rep with Empire Kosher called me about this new product -- the Ready to Roast Garlic and Herb Seasoned Chicken, I seriously thought he was insane. You can't buy un-kosher chicken that you can cook in 20 minutes in your microwave, so why on earth would the kosher market produce something?

There were some juices leaking from the bag, but otherwise? Ready to cook.

In my mind, all I can think is that the folks at Empire realize that we're busy -- all of us, not just Jews -- and having a fresh, delicious, kosher, seasoned chicken ready in 20 minutes is the best thing since sliced bread. The directions couldn't be more simple [this is my take on them, actually]:

Open the big bag. Inside is another bag. On one side it says "This side up" or something to that effect. Put the bag of chicken on a plate with the right side up. Cut two holes. Put in microwave. Cook for 20-22 minutes. Eat delicious, moist, seasoned chicken. Be happy. Use the time you could have used waiting for your chicken to be done to eat some delicious dessert or go for a walk or snuggle with your sweetie.  

He's got a knife! Steam.

My dear husband Tuvia described the chicken as "moist and flavorful." To which I responded, that's it? And he responded, "sure thing." Okay, so he's not one for words. The great thing about this chicken is that the seasoning really permeates throughout the bird. Oftentimes, as I've noticed in my own imperfect cooking, the seasoning I put on the skin sits there, and a lot of people don't eat the skin, so the flavor is lost. Empire did a great job making sure the flavor was throughout, and that the bird stayed super moist, even in the microwave.

I will say that the perfect cooking takes a bit of tweaking, and you have to check the packaging with the wattage of your microwave. We cooked ours initially for 20 minutes, then for another 2, and there were still a few spots we weren't sure about, but the thermometer (our's) showed us otherwise. We devoured the chicken, leaving just enough for me to take on a Chicken Taco Salad tomorrow. Leftovers are wonderful (and that shows you how plentiful the chicken is).

Yes, Empire gave me this bird to try. Yes, I'm happy that it was free. But seriously? It was at Glatt Express here in Teaneck for about $15, which is nothing for a meal that with some potatoes and veggies could easily feed four people. But those of you who've read me for a while know that I'm honest in my reviews. If you don't believe me, check out some of my honesty over on my Yelp page. So go out, buy a delicious Empire Kosher Chicken, and be prepared to kick back and have dinner in no time at all.

Happy eating! (PS: I'm pretty sure this is NASA technology ... what else could it be!?)

The delicious, well-seasoned, moist as a summer night in Washington D.C. chicken. B'tayavon! (Bon appetit!)

Medium-Rare, That's How It's Done

I joined Yelp.com, the restaurant and general review site, back in the day, probably in 2007, and I really took off in 2008 reviewing restaurants like crazy while living in Chicago. When I moved to Connecticut and became kosher, my reviews became some of the first on kosher restaurants in Connecticut, Monsey (NY), New Jersey and elsewhere. Now, I'm blessed with a bevy of restaurants to review on a weekly basis, and believe me, I do. I review Starbucks locales, local coffee shops, and, of course, as this blog's title post suggests ... Steak Houses.

Lucky for me (and you), I've got a stellar review right here for you, on ETC Steakhouse (that's E, T, C steakhouse, not etcetera), and a very sweet deal, too. I know what you're thinking ... I'm hocking lots of stuff lately, but 'tis the season for tightening purse strings. Thus, for places like steakhouses and fancy pasta joints and sushi digs, you want to save a little change, right?

Then, I insist that you all go to KosherAdvantage.com and sign up for a card. The card works at butchers and restaurants around New Jersey and New York, but also places online and in locations like California and Florida and Baltimore and, yes, Canada. I have no doubt in my mind that the Kosher Advantage card is going to spread its wings and fly across the country in all cities with a substantial kosher consumer population, but for now, simply go to the website and check out the many places that do take Kosher Advantage.

THE DEAL

And? You can get THREE FREE MONTHS of membership by using the code "kvetching" at checkout on KosherAdvantage.com. (There will be a little box that asks if someone suggested it to you, and that's where you enter "kvetching.") If you decide to give them a call, just mention "kvetching," too. Three months free is worth a try, eh? Yes. Yes it is. And now? My review of ETC Steakhouse in Teaneck, New Jersey. Prepare to salivate.

THE REVIEW

Note: ETC Steakhouse did not pay me to post this. In fact, they didn't even pay me to eat there. I paid for the meal. Except the cake, because that was Tuvia's birthday cake. This is all me here. And really, it was that good. 

Five, blazing red Yelp stars on this one.  I would have taken a photo of my food, but, well, I sort of ate it really fast. 


If you scout out my reviews, you'll notice that I wasn't always kosher. In fact, I went kosher strictly in mid-2009. Before that? I indulged in all the non-kosher food out there, including a bounty of steakhouses while living in Chicago. In fact, if you check out my reviews, you'll notice some particularly drool-worthy ones where I go on and on about the masterful filets at some of Chicago's best joints.

But then, I went kosher. Technically, filet mignon isn't kosher. Steakhouses, all the good ones, weren't kosher. I was left on an oasis of meatlessness.

I've had plenty of kosher steaks since then. Plenty of "filets" at kosher joints, with the requested cooking style of "medium rare" (it's the only way to eat beef, people). And all of them have been less than impressive. Doable, but simply impressive.

Enter ETC. Steakhouse. Yes, it was my husband's birthday. Yes, he should have been the one having the ethereal experience (which, by the way, he did, but this is about me here), but it was I who ordered the Peppercorn Encrusted Filet with frittes, marrow, and some kind of greens. I got mine sans marrow, because I'm a gluten-free eater, and ordered it medium rare. I also ordered the Potato-Leek Soup as a starter.

Evan's delicious gluten-free "happy birthday" cake!

The soup was good, but nothing I'd write home about. I make my own potato-leek soup at home and it's thick and creamy (not to mention vegan). This soup was a little on the oily side. But I came here for the meat. So when the main course arrived, I was elated. The steak was huge, thick, and was oozing juice. The filet was cooked perfectly. I mean, absolutely perfectly. It had the perfect crust with a juicy, pink center. And the taste? You'd need taste-o-vision or smell-o-vision to really get the full impact of just how good this was.

When I say this is the BEST steak I've ever had, I mean it. I really, really mean it. I've had a million steaks in my life, and this was, hands down, the most delicious, perfectly cooked filet I have ever had. And I take meat seriously. Very, very seriously.

The frittes were good, and I didn't eat the greens (it seemed kind of like sprouts, but was more for decoration). We got the Gluten-Free Chocolate Cake with Orange Mousse for dessert because, as I mentioned, it was my husband's birthday. If you ever though gluten-free cake couldn't be delicious, you were lied to or mistake or insane. It was moist, rich, and absolutely to die for.

I've decided that my last meal on earth will be a steak cooked by the chef here, who, by the way, came in to say "hello" to us and the other tables and see how the meal was. If you don't fine-dine much, this is a sign of a really high-class joint. To have the chef come out? You see the face behind the plate, and that's important.

Take-away: Go here. Order the filet. Order it medium-rare. And be prepared to want that steak for every meal for the rest of your life. And if you think I'm wrong? Let me know. I'd love to hear you kvetch. 

(Also: A nod to our amazing waitress, Lily, who made the entire experience excellent. The cozy little joint is perfectly coifed in that red-black steakhouse feel, but without being cheesy. The wait staff is all in black, making it a classy, classy joint.)

Jamie Geller Goes Quick & Kosher ... Again!

Quick and Kosher. These are two words that I live by. I keep kosher, and I prefer that keeping kosher not keep my calendar in the "rush" formation. When I cook kosher, I want to cook quick, but thoughtful. Quick, but healthful. Quick, but delicious. Can it be done? Is it possible to cook quick and kosher? To set aside generations of slaving over a hot stove for two days for Shabbat meals? Yes, yes it is. And Jamie Geller shows us how (and she makes it look incredibly easy).

I first heard about Jamie's work from the beautiful personality behind In the Pink, so I ordered the book immediately off Amazon, tabbed a bajillion pages, and got cooking. Aside from a few gripes about recipes coming out tasteless (which, to be honest, I can't blame on Jamie -- I am a super taster, if you are familiar with the term; I need lots of spice in order to taste anything), I was incredibly pleased with the ease and speed with which her recipes could be completed. Yes, there were opponents who scoffed at her Duck Sauce Chicken recipe (jar duck sauce, chicken, cook), but that's because people don't get what Quick & Kosher means.

Quick & Kosher means easy meals that pack a flavorful punch with minimal ingredients that won't have you multi-tasking on three different devices. Quick & Kosher means giving you the options for meals that you wouldn't have thought of otherwise. Duck Sauce Chicken? Sure, it seems simple, but when you're scrounging for the easiest possible Shabbos dinner dish, would you, off the top of your head, just think about throwing some sauce and chicken together? And if you have a beef with the health issue (onion soup mix and what have you), then you, as the consumer, need to think: look for low sodium options, look for all natural ingredients, and find a way to make the recipes work!

Thus, with Jamie's new installment in the Quick & Kosher series -- Meals in Minutes -- we have a boatload of options that come adorned with side dishes! Jamie offers a main dish and a side dish on every page, so you don't have to think about what to make with your protein. Can you mix it up? Who's to stop you? But the nice thing is that you can stick to one page and have a healthy, quick, delicious meal. In the back of the book, Jamie offers a variety of meal options for every Jewish holiday from Shabbat to Shavuot, and, to be completely honest, I'll probably use the festive meal menus for a regular Shabbat in the future. Why? Because I'm the kind of person who starts building a menu and ends up with two main dishes, six side dishes, and three desserts plus a soup or salad or fish. I overdo it. I kill myself cooking for Shabbat, when I know that -- in reality -- a few side dishes with a main course, a delicious dessert and a hearty salad are all a meal and the guests need to be complete and satisfied. I also love that Jamie offers wine pairings and gives short and sweet explanations of the questions you know you're asking, like, what is lemongrass (check the Thai Chicken Soup recipe)? Or how to pick cheese or wine or why Kosher.com is awesome (for all intents and purposes, Jamie's their spokesperson).

Pumpkin cookies! FTW!

I know what you're thinking -- they gave me the book for free. I'm worshiping at the altar of Jamie Geller and the Quick & Kosher team. To be honest, aside from the spice/flavor issue, I haven't had a problem with any of the recipes from either book, and I've made probably a dozen or so in the past few months. And, as a gluten-free consumer, I've been able to fix up all of the recipes I've made for a gluten-free twist, including the Pumpkin Cookies in the new book. (Easiest cookies out there after, of course, an unhealthy pre-packed mix). I also am a huge fan of the Lamb Meatballs in Pita, which I made for my Israeli friends and paired with an abundance of Israeli salads (they loved the meatballs). I'm super eager to make the Greek-Style Chicken with Lemon and Dill, paired with Tomatoes and String Beans (okay, so I'll have to make Tuvia something else), as well as the Pumpkin Black Bean Soup (what a combo, right?). Spice-Rubbed Grilled Chicken with Fruit Salsa? Yes, please! The list goes on and on.

And if you know that you only have 40 minutes or 60 minutes, all you have to do is go to that chapter and get cooking. Organized, quick, and kosher. Bravo, Jamie!

So now, what you're really here for, the giveaway. Here are the rules:

• There will be one winner who will receive one copy of Jamie Geller's new Quick & Kosher: Meals in Minutes.
• The contest closes Sunday, November 7, 2010, at 10 p.m. 
• To enter, you must write a fall/winter food haiku (or limerick, just for you M.E.) OR tell me (and, in turn, Jamie Geller) what recipe or food you love for which you wish there was a "quick and kosher" recipe. 
• Tweet this, Facebook this, and spread the word. Let me know where you've thrown up a mention (honor system here, folks) for an extra entry into the contest.

Good luck, and happy cooking!

Kosher Fest: The Highs, The Lows

See all that Black and White? 

Kosher Fest, Kosher Fest ... you will forever be known affectionately as "The Big Kiddush." (Hat tip to @elierosenfeld on that one.) The reason? Kosher Fest comes with everything kiddush does: fish, booze, little old ladies and large Hasids elbowing you for nosh ... oh, and Tam Tams. Yes, Kosher Fest had literally everything the kosher consumer could dream of. Squeazable hummus, chorizo-style sausage, soy cheese for your favorite burger, and everything in between. I'm pretty sure my eyes have melted from the shock of so much at once. At least, it feels that way. My knees ache, my back hurts (I schlepped around a lot of stuf), and I'm exhausted. The noise, the shoving, the nudging, the meeting of new old friends. But I survived. I did, indeed, live to tell the tale.

I was eager to go to Kosher Fest for one reason: I love food. (Okay, I was also really excited to be in the presence of literary giants Sue Fishkoff, Susie Fishbein, Jamie Geller, Paula Shoyer, and Joan Nathan.) Food, the enemy, is one of my favorite things. The search for delicious gluten-free kosher food is a difficult one, but one I'm willing to rock for the sake of  other kosher-keepers who seek tasty, healthy, gluten-free eats. The problem? These things don't really exist out of vegetables and fruits -- the basics of a gluten-free diet. But sometimes, you want bread and cookies and crackers and to eat a sandwich like a normal person. Matzo ball soup and cake, pasta and chicken fingers. Just as much as kosher consumers want to eat that treyf-like food (imitation crab and soy cheese for burgers), so do gluten-free consumers want to eat like the rest of the world and even more so like their kosher brethren. To be able to say motzi and bensch at the end of a meal. To enjoy a cookout and go out to eat.

So let's forge forth. I'll be reviewing individual products that I took home with me over on www.kosher-critic.com over the coming week. Items that I tried on-site will get appropriate comments. I was really shocked at how few of the vendors offered products for me to review when I said "I'm a blogger." The power of the blogger is mighty, right? I had to ask, and in a few cases ask multiple times, to take something with me to review.

My adventure began at the Kosher.com booth. I'm already sold on Kosher.com, from which I purchase Heaven Mills gluten-free challah rolls (oat based for motzi fun!) and other goodies like gluten-free gefilte fish. Jamie Geller (of Quick & Kosher fame) tells me that the King Arthur mixes that Kosher.com sells are worth my time, so I'll be giving those a go and if you do, too, please let me know what you think. I trekked on, stopping by the folks behind Naked Juice drinks. They didn't seem to have a clue what I was talking about when I mentioned "gluten free," but when I said I was a blogger they were keen on showing me good customer service (a blogger's tirade can ruin you). From there I spotted the illustrious Susie Fishbein, with whom I nabbed a picture and shared my disappointment in the cookbook's layout. To be honest, she didn't seem super interested in my comments, but, after all, she was bombarded with people and probably stressed out ... so I guess I won't read too much into that ...

I intended on maintaining fleishig status throughout the day (I was sporting some coffee im chalav), so I ended up eating a lot of interesting parve and cheesy things. I surpassed the Mikee marinades, which come in a variety of gluten-free options (although, I did go back later and have some, and it was outstanding). I nabbed an awesome bag from the folks at Kind Healthy Snacks, which produces a variety of fruit and nut bars, including one that is packed with fiber. My recommendation is to get some and throw them in your bag to stav off hunger. The bag they gave me saved my life, btw. So much to schlep! So little time ...

I hit up a variety of booths with random goodies throughout, and I finally met my connections over at Katz Gluten Free and picked up a container of their new sugar-free cookies. I have to give props to them for going the extra length to add a little healthfulness to their products, but I'm still not sure I'll be eating them regularly. Same goes for Shabtai products, which are so delicious in that they taste like normal cakes, but ... sigh. Calories. Sugar. Fat. Weight Watchers is watching. And I'm trying to avoid processed stuff in order to fill up on things packed with veggies, protein, and fiber. One product I'm super stoked about is the Garden Lites line of gluten-free eats. I've had their souffles before, but tasted the Zucchini Marinara today and it blew my mind. With 110 calories, 5 grams fat, and 3 grams fiber, it's a seriously healthy treat that, yes, you guessed it, tasted like spaghetti marinara. I've decided I'm going to just eat this every day for lunch. Why? It tasted good and it was healthy and that's what I've been looking for in kosher foods.

Oh, and I love the redesign of gluten-free soup nuts. Rings? Awesome. And fun. And soup-a-licious! Also, there was a French (or was it Israeli?) company there trying to get U.S. distribution that represents French cheese and a whole line of St. Dalfour jellies that are all natural. By this I mean it's fruit and juice. ZERO sugar. And wow, so delicious. I picked up a jar of the Orange Ginger, and I'll be reviewing it in short. And meat? I had probably the most delicious sausages I've ever had -- surpassing even those of Smokey Joe's in Teaneck! The "Delicious and Kosher" eats of Jack's Gourmet. They had a chorizo-like sausage, a spicy Italian (it wasn't that spicy) and probably six others. They're gluten-free and oh-so nommy.

I'll cap off my product placement and musings with the booze. Yes, the booze. The liqueur was flowing through the aisles. There was a mountain of kosher wines (I seriously had no idea there were so many), and there were varied versions of whiskey and scotch and bourbon. My favorites? Walders Vodka & Vanilla, which won Kosher Fest Best in Show and didn't taste a bit like alcohol (which I love) and the Heering Coffee Liqueur? Holy Moses. I could drink this stuff for breakfast. I didn't try any of the wine, but from the looks on people's faces, they were happy. 

The view from the Tweetup. I felt so powerful ... reigning supreme over the masses!

Kosher Fest loves Canada! 

In the end, Kosher Fest has a LONG way to go in becoming Social Media friendly. There was wi-fi, but it was nonexistent outside of the press room (where there was no room to sit, for anyone) and it was impossible to blog on-site. Phone service, too, was slight in most instances. It was impossible to be technologically connected and live from the location, and the organizers appear to not have been set up for welcoming or even encouraging a social media presence at the event. Color me disappointed and let down by Kosher Fest. 


That is: the experience, that is, not the food. The food? It was 60 percent outstanding and 40 percent irritatingly unhealthy and gluten-filled. Stay tuned for detailed reviews and anything I might have forgotten here, as well as more info about upcoming gluten-free products from Kedem (there will be a "matzo-like" product, as a teaser), Manischewitz's plans for gluten-free eats, and some safe and fashionable Shmira Wear. Yes, you read that last thing right. Hopefully I can get Tuvia to do a fashion show for me!


Oh! And, before we part ways, check out this awesome video of someone making a havdalah candle. I got to take the gem home with me, and I can't wait to use it. These guys were totally shtetled out, too! (PS: It's sideways, but you'll get the drift.)

Kosher Fest Keynote: Live Blogged!

Note: Everything on Kosher Fest 2010 is cross-posted @ www.Kosher-Critic.com. My thoughts in this post tend to be in parenthesis. 

I arrived at the Meadowlands Expo Center at 8 a.m. (thanks Tuvia, for dropping me), only to discover that press registration was at 9 a.m. Growl. I sat outside, got my Tweet on, and now? I'm at the keynote address by Menachem Lubinsky, the president of LUBICOM Marketing/Consulting. Here are some comments, which I'll update throughout the morning.

9:15 a.m. In its 22nd year, Kosher Fest has the largest number of gluten-free, sugar-free, egg-free, and other dietary-restricted foods yet. The number of health-conscious and younger consumers are driving change in the kosher industry. Even at a time of recession, the kosher industry is doing good ("recession proof," says Menachem Lubinsky, keynote speaker). However, many aren't buying gourmet and steaks.

Big-name chefs heading kosher. A "trend" that continues to develop outside the kosher community, geared toward upscale. A change from 20 years ago when kosher wasn't kosher. Packaging has improved, the kosher food industry has developed its image.

Is the supermarket the enemy for independent sellers? People find a niche. Lubinsky says: supermarkets weren't the problem: people refused to update operations, to advance along with the changes of the kosher food industry. Mom and pops blame failure on supermarkets, but these stores also didn't embrace that their demographic was changing. Today, we have the "come back of the independent." In a way, the supermarket model has been taken and melded with the personal approach of the independent market to create a successful model. (I wonder if Glatt Express in Teaneck could be said to have followed this model.) Lubinsky offers Rockland Kosher and Pomegranate as examples of the successful supermarkets. And big box stores? Making a big statement in kosher (think: BJs, Costco, etc.). People are shopping all three: independents, supermarkets, and big box stores. Everybody wins!

9:25 a.m. "Map of the United States" has two states: New York and out of town (a once-upon-a-time thought by kosher industry folks). This isn't the reality any longer. Industry has learned to appreciate who their customer is. Of all new products that came onto the scene last year, 5,000 had some type of kosher symbol -- the largest presence of a single label.

Kashrut is a "constant education." Like social media, it's a moving target (that's my thought, by the way).   It's also a highly competitive field. "Nothing is sacred anymore." Production crossover has been heightened -- there's no limit to what someone can produce, but this creates havoc for the buyer (overkill as far as options).

9:35 a.m. Scenario of the elderly Jewish woman who went to the supermarket as her outing, but only purchased a few small things didn't drive sales (thus failure of grocery stores in certain locations in NY area). Supermarkets realized that it's better to have 30-50 percent of their consumers filling up their carts than to have Zayde purchasing $20 and just hanging out. The traditional, old-school isn't dead, but it's not as present as it was before. (How many kugels or sponge cakes will I spot out on the floor?!)

Question: Are people really cost-conscious? Mention of co-op projects (I belonged to one of those in Lincoln, Neb. You pay money, join, and help support the supermarket and get special prices on the food). Mention of Twitter! There are people who Twitter the specials to their friends and drive grocery store sales. (Love this!)

Question: What about fake cheese? How does it fit into the kosher industry? There's a subset of young folks that want healthy, food replacements. It doesn't reflect just the kosher industry, but the greater food industry. "If one appears to be healthier, they'll invariably pick up the healthier option." (Love that he said "appears," because this is very important. Most of the food that appears to be healthier isn't.)

9:40 a.m. Honoring Rabbi Menachem Genack, CEO of OU's worldwide kosher division by representative of Manischewitz, for Rabbi Genack's stellar work. Genack's a "close disciple of Rabbi Soloveitchik." Rabbi Soloveitchik said something interesting about Rabbi Genack: he dives to the depths of kashrut and surfaces with gems and pearls every day, not every rabbi can do that. "Rabbi Genack has incredible insights ... amazing humanity ... dedication and leadership to the OU."

I Say Kosher, You Say Yum!

As many of you know, I'm heading to Kosher Fest tomorrow. I'm covering the event -- mostly -- for my Gluten-Free Kosher Critic blog, but I'll probably end up posting everything here and crossing over there. I'm hoping to do some live blogging from the event, and maybe even get an interview with a few folks who create and promote my favorite kosher eats. Are you excited? I'm excited. I'm stoked.

I'm so stoked, in fact, that I'd like to share with you this hilariously unhealthy remnant of Jewish food gone by: The Art of Jewish Cooking by Jennie Grossinger circa 1965. Yes, these delicious recipes call for everyone's favorite ingredient.

FAT

Yes, the recipes just say "2 Tablespoons fat" or "1 cup fat." I know that nowadays we call this "butter" or "margarine" or whatever. But, still. It grosses me out to even look at the recipes. (Sorry Jennie Grossinger, I just can't help it.) Especially as I, someone who loves food (even though it's the enemy), who is attempting to battle this thing called fat with this other thing called fresh, healthy eating. I attended a mini workshop today for Jewish teen educators on how to tap into the minds of Jewish teens with food -- but healthy, relatable, unique, and experiential food. The session spoke a lot to me, and it was awesomely interactive. If you're interested in hooking up with the gal running an awesome set of programming on food for Jewish teens in the NY area, let me know, and I'll set you up.

Ultimately, my goal at Kosher Fest tomorrow is to track down some healthy kosher eats that haven't been processed until kingdom come. Things that leave out the bad oils and the HFCS (or sugar, whatever) and put in the good things we need to sustain ourselves. And? Gluten-free goodies. After all, I'm not only kosher, but also gluten free, which compounds the food difficulties for an on-the-go, busy person like myself. I can't take freshly steamed veggies to work everyday, guys. It just isn't going to happen. Have you seen me in the city? Have you seen the amount of crap I schlep around? I'm a worker, student, and wife. I schlep. It's what I do.

Anyhow, hopefully I can pique your interest with my perfectly delectable posts tomorrow from Kosher Fest. I'm interested in how companies are understanding and marketing "kosher" food. Is it just kosher now? Did we lose the Jewish part of kosher food? What, to you, is kosher food? Is it just kosher food or is it Jewish food? Is it Sephardic or Ashkenazic? Gefilte fish and cholent or baba ganoush and shaksuka? 

This week it's all about food. So? Dig in!

It's a Kosher, Kosher Nation

Thanks to a marathon session of Eat, Pray, Sleep (hat tip to Adina on that one, talking about the three-day chagim), I had a lot of time to read. My usual intent is to avoid school reading on the chagim and Shabbat, because, for me, school is my version of "work." I sometimes make exceptions for Judaica because, well, Judaica is my school, my blog, my work, my life. It's a delicate balance, but I work it out well. Thus, most of the time, I read what I'll call "pleasure reading" books over the chagim and Shabbat -- usually historical fiction (in the vein of "The Invisible Bridge" by Julie Orringer and the like). Every now and again, I'll sit down with something more serious (or not) in the realm of nonfiction. This past three-day Sukkot/Shabbat fest had me glued to my chair with Sue Fishkoff's upcoming book, "Kosher Nation: Why More an More of America's Food Answers to a Higher Authority."

I got the book as a pre-release read, one of the many perks of being a blogger. I was notified of this book's impending publishing many months ago, and I even blogged about it over the summer in my "I'm An Oscar Meyer Weiner ..." blog post. I was seriously excited. So let's talk.

I haven't had a chance to read Fishkoff's "The Rebbe's Army," yet, but after reading "Kosher Nation," I can only imagine how good it must be. Fishkoff has this elegance about her writing, reporting without being forceful, and maintaining a neutral point of view. Fishkoff is a reporter with JTA, so I have high standards for these writer types -- can they write? or are they just good reporters? are they biased? is there an underlying current of sentiment? do they let the sources speak for themselves? is the BIG QUESTION answered or are we at least left questioning?

Synagogue membership went up during Prohibition because
sacramental wine was exempt from the law!

The great thing about Fishkoff is that she's not only an amazing reporter, but she's also a talented writer (a rarity -- in my experience, you can either report well and write worth you know what, or you are an amazing writer but fail to report properly). The individuals that pepper this book -- from the masghichim to the "eco-kosher" movement specialists to the big wigs at some of the nation's largest kashrut authorities -- tell the story for us, Fishkoff just sews the stories together, creating a fluid discussion of the boom in kosher in the United States. We learn about why people buy kosher (and most of those people aren't even Jewish) and why companies seek out kashrut status -- even when they don't have a large Jewish customer base. The story of a baker who seeks out certification because he wants his patrons to trust him when he says that he only uses vegetable shortening is a perfect example of what Fishkoff is trying to explain: Kosher isn't just Jewish.

I applaud her for not dwelling solely on the politics of kashrut, and she blocks off the issue to a few chapters, which is appreciated. The politics are explained with a delicate pen, and reading about the kosher wars of the early 1900s blew my mind. There could be a movie ... based on the book. I have a title: "Kosher: A Bloody, Bloody History." It's multi-faceted, of course, because we have the blood draining of animals, but also people being killed over it. Yes, killed. You want to read the mafioso-like stories? Buy the book. But really, it will shock you. You think the Rubashkin and Monsey chicken fiascos were bad. People have been killed for less. Over KASHRUT.


All the drama aside, the book left me with a lot of things to think about. Because the book is filled with stories -- the plight of the mashgiach, the struggles of the eco-kosher movement, the battle to keep kosher when you live in the middle of nowhere -- we hear a lot from people. Most of these people talk about the way food helps them connect to HaShem, which I think is something I didn't expect. For me, kosher means being 110 percent cognizant of every item of food you put in your body, because every step of the process requires you to think, think, think about what you're doing (what you buy, how you prepare it, how you cook it, how you eat it, what blessing you say, etc.). Thus, it was incredibly meaningful to read about the very religious experience people have with food and why keeping kosher is more than just laws and customs. Hearing the mashgiach of a Northwestern juice factory talk about davening Yom Kippur and fasting in a factory -- alone -- and how it was the most powerful Yom Kippur for him because he did the work in prayer and didn't rely on a chazzan? That's brilliant. That's a narrative worth reading. 

Kosher meat market on the Lower East Side

But then there were the ... less than stellar moments in the book. Hat's off to Fishkoff for including everyone -- including the naysayers. But some of these people ... yikes. There's the 40-year-old California chef who thinks that kashrut is an insult. It disallows you from having meals with other people (which, I sort of get the logic of). What I don't get the logic of is her asinine reason for eating pork. You see, this woman's mom was a "hidden child" during the Holocaust, and as a result, her mother regularly ate pork and bacon growing up. Thus, this woman, this 40-year-old woman, feels obligated to eat the stuff ... "I feel like I would be betraying my mom if I didn't," she said. Are you kidding me? That's like saying, my mom stole stuff, so to honor her memory, I do the same. I mean, really? The book goes on and on about secular Jews who don't keep kosher but can't bring themselves to eat pork and shellfish -- the two biggies for most Jews on the "don't eat this" list. And this woman honors her mother, who survived the Shoah, by eating pork. Barf. This is the crazy of kashrut. It's unfortunate, I think, that this woman feels this way. (She's quoted later in the book talking about how ridiculous she thinks kashrut is, and she's really the only person in the book who appears to have a negative view of kashrut.)

And then there's the shocking. I already alluded to the kosher wars of the early 1900s, but the statistics that appear in the first several chapters of the books are plentiful and sometimes shocking. Here's the one that struck me the most: "According to a 2006 Conservative movement survey ... 87 percent of Conservative rabbis and cantors eat in non-kosher restaurants, although just 9 percent will order meat" (98). Eighty-seven percent? That's an incredibly, incredibly high number I think. Especially considering that the Conservative movement is -- according to its precepts -- just as committed to kashrut as Orthodoxy. Yet, yikes. There's a story of a woman in the book whose father used to take them out to eat dairy/fish at non-kosher restaurants, while they kept kosher in the house. One day, this woman's sister was eating her tuna salad sandwich when she realized it tasted funny. Turns out the tuna was chicken. The woman's father vowed that they'd never eat out again, and the woman -- to this day -- keeps kosher. In my mind, there is enough room for error in non-kosher restaurants that I wouldn't even want to approach the idea of eating out vegetarian/dairy. When Tuvia and I decided to go kosher both in and outside of the home, it was largely because we just couldn't deal -- the idea that we had no idea what the fish we were eating out was being cooked with (on the same grill as pork? as a cheeseburger?) disturbed us to the point that we couldn't negotiate that anymore. Even eating out cold -- you don't know that the salad knife didn't also cut some catfish for that yummy fish salad they also serve. The Conservative rabbis stat just bothers me. It seems, well, questionable.

Lastly, I just want to mention one more interesting storyline: the 2008 creation of the Society for Classical Reform Judaism. Yes this is a group devoted to the old-school way of Reform Judaism: no Hebrew, no kippot, no tallit, no b'nai mitzvah, etc. These individuals see other Reform Jews on the slippery slope of observance and "recognizing Orthodox authority." The concept of this is fascinating and frustrating. I'm curious if any of my readers are keen on this movement or know anyone in the Reform movement who is jonesing for the days of yore.

Overall: Sue Fishkoff is amazing, and this book was a beautiful exploration of kashrut -- from here to the plants in China that excitedly seek kashrut status. Fishkoff really takes us into the world of the mashgiach, restaurants, factory life, and why so many people trust items that are kosher, despite so few buyers in the market are actually purchasing the items for religious reasons. The balance of the book is excellent, and Fishkoff lets the stories and individuals speak for themselves without pushing an agenda. Definitely pick up this book. You'll be surprised and shocked at the detail that goes into ritual slaughter and the ease of which some mashgiachs simply push buttons to get the process done. Either way, this book has something for everyone -- even the non-kosher consumer.

If you read this, let me know what you think. I'd love to start a dialogue!

PS: Did you know that treyf doesn't mean "not kosher" or "unfit," but rather refers to tearing -- the prohibition of tearing the flesh from an animal (לטרוף). Fascinating!

The Kosher Traveler: Woe is Me!

The view on my way out of New Jersey on Monday.

South Carolina: It's south of the "border," and the kosher options are slim to none in most places. I anticipated this, of course. I did my research, scouring the internet for some semblance of hope for my four-day adventure, and what I came back with was that there were a few kosher digs in Myrtle Beach, so I immediately told my brother that we'd be going there, no excuses. His response was to ask a really amusing question, drawn out over nearly a minute, "So, sis, if you, you know, if you come down, and, we, you know, go to a kosher restaurant, can you, you know, pay for it?" 

Here's a guy who has no idea that kosher restaurants are more expensive than hitting up Wendy's, but who has been living on very little this summer. Amused, I agreed, and thus it was settled -- there would be at least one kosher meal on my adventure. But what about the other meals? I decided that I wanted to cook for the brother and his girlfriend, assuming that they've been eating a lot of canned chili and things like that. I packed my cooler with Empire Kosher Chicken, a bag of mixed potatoes (red, purple, white), a jar of olive oil, a mixture of thyme and other herbs, and a jar of my Celestial Seasonings 7 Pepper Spice, with the intention of making some yummy spicy chicken and herb-roasted potatoes. Set. That's two meals. (And the latter went over super well with the kids; they inhaled it!)

Now what?

I packed dried fruit, a can of cashews, a loaf of the Katz Gluten Free Bread, Marshmallow Fluff, peanut butter, and some cottage cheese. Oh! And some Gluten-Free Cinnamon Chex. I planned to get by on cereal and sandwiches, but after one created sandwich, I was ready to throw the bread away. I had good luck with the Katz Gluten Free Challah (sliced) Bread, but this whole grain version was ... well ... disgusting, grainy, and gross. So I noshed some nuts and dried fruit on the way down, bought some chips, and by the time I got to South Carolina (two large coffees and that food later), I felt disgusting. I had such a horrible stomach ache and I was up half the night with tummy pains. Sigh.

Tuesday we went to Myrtle Beach, and I was so excited to actually eat something, so at Cafe M I ordered a big ole' flounder with some fries and Israeli salad, and the meal didn't disappoint. In fact, I ate far too much food because I knew I wasn't getting a real meal again until the next night when I was making dinner. The rest of the day consisted of some Ben and Jerry's Coffee Coffee BuzzBuzzBuzz at Broadway at the Beach, and lots and lots of water. When we left around 10:30 to head back to Columbia, the kids were famished and very softly asked me if it was okay if we stopped at Wendy's for them to get dinner. Listen, they're not kosher, and if they need me to deliver them to Wendy's to grab some burgers and fries, then so be it. So we went, they ordered, they ate, I drove, finishing off the rest of my cashews and water. Woe, be me. I was hungry.

Back at the apartment, I opted to just go to bed on an empty stomach than suffer through some chips or cereal again.

Here we are, the two of us. He's so tall now!

The next day, I awoke to eat two large bowls of cereal -- I was famished. Luckily, the first night I was there I picked up a big carton of Lactaid and made it work. The cereal, thank G-d, kept me full until dinnertime around 7, which, of course, was the dinner I prepared and the kids inhaled. All it took was some throw-away pans, lots of foil, and bam, easy kosher dinner in a non-kosher kitchen. It can be done. It can!

I started Thursday morning at 6 a.m., downing a bowl of cereal and hitting the road as hard I as could. I stopped in Raleigh for coffee with one of my BFFs of nearly 10 years who I'd had yet to meet. It was an awesome and surreal experience to sit down with a friend over coffee after so many years. Two cups of coffee later, I was back on the road. My plan was to drive all the way through to Baltimore and stop there for some kosher eats, and the plan was going along swell up until the point that I got on the beltway amid torrential rain and horrible traffic ... two hours I sat there in the traffic, intermittently noshing tortilla chips and dried fruit. The payoff? A burger and fries from Kosher Bite, which I inhaled so quickly I barely tasted it.

Was it really that rough that I had to inhale all the kosher eats I could get? Should I have planned better and brought more food?

Yes, it was really that rough. Being kosher and gluten free presents the challenge wherein I can't even go to the store and buy a loaf of bread. The cooler didn't work like it was supposed to, and my milk went bad pretty quick on the ride back home. Chips and snacks aren't a way to live, and a salad isn't practical to eat on the road. So planning better wouldn't have done much for me. I eat a lot of yogurt, cottage cheese, salad, and other cold-necessary items. I could have gone to the store, I suppose, but it would have been buying items that I wouldn't have been able to finish in the few days I was there and wouldn't have survived the trip back. The problem of eating was compounded by the fact that my little bro and his girlfriend have a very wacky and casual eating schedule, so I wasn't exactly sure when and where and how to eat.

This led to my little brother quipping, "Are you not hungry? You haven't eaten like anything on your trip?"

I was hungry, believe me. It reminds me of my trip to SXSW back in March and how difficult it was for me to plan my food and not be starved. I existed on powerbars and coffee most of the trip, which wasn't ideal, but I wasn't really prepared for the meals either. Now, I'm gluten free and making a sandwich isn't as easy as it once was. I want to avoid the pre-packaged self-heating meals and things like that because they're bad, bad, bad for you, and fruits and vegetables are delicate and can easily be smushed or go bad in the wrong environment.

Overall? It was a rough kosher experience. I got one really good meal out of it at Cafe M in Myrtle Beach, and the meal I prepared really hit my tastebuds out of the park. But inhaling both of these meals because it was the only real meal eaten both days wasn't smart. That's no way to go about my business. Luckily, there are no long-distance roadtrips in my future because this one destroyed my knees, my back, and my shoulders. My body is seriously beat down, but I managed to get home Thursday night after the two-hour traffic delay and a weird incident on the highway with a traffic closure and a cop's wacky driving style. Friday I woke up and cooked a meal for champions for my four Shabbat guests, and it all came together better than I could have planned. The result, however, is that I'm even more sore than when I arrived home Thursday.

Tomorrow is the Jewish Social Media Schmooze event in NYC at which I'll be a moderator, which means another day where I won't be able to rest and relax (listen, Shabbat is supposed to be relaxing, but those of you who entertain know how not true that is). So this week is my week. I'm going to hopefully get a massage, take lots of baths, and chill. This body needs a break.

So here's my query to you, the reader: How do you travel kosher? How do you travel kosher and gluten free? Or, better yet, do you have any recommendations for how I can travel kosher and gluten free? 

(Luckily, I won't be travelling long-distance again until November/December and that's to Israel, so no kosher concerns there!)